Elif Boyvadoğlu – In My Skin / a movie review

   ‘’In My Skin’’ is written and directed by French filmmaker Marina de Van who also performs as the main character, Esther. The story of the movie begins with a party. Esther wanders around the garden where she ends up falling and cutting her leg. When she bleeds in the house, she realizes that she feels better than she thought she would be. She likes the pain of the cut. She barely feels it when it happens. Afterwards, she goes out for a drink before she sees a doctor. Her boyfriend, Vincent, is not happy with her recklessness and begins to worry about her attitudes, and the story goes on…
From my perspective, it feels like mankind is not completely aware of itself although it has existed for a long time. People don’t know what they like or what they want in their lives. The reason is that they never take a chance to discover what they want to do. They don’t do anything to get to know themselves. And the movie shows us this kind of issues. Although Esther seems really happy in the beginning of the movie, actually she does not find what she desires or what she wishes in her life. Then she realizes something, a different feeling, and she doesn’t want to stop herself from feeling it. This seems to me like self-cannibalism. She makes love to herself. Even though her boyfriend realizes her situation and tries to help her, she never listens to him and continuously cuts herself because she doesn’t control her desires. Esther becomes fascinated with her own flesh. Her friends and her co-workers notice this fact and things begin to get a little tense. Soon after, Esther tries harder to cover up her behavior. Perhaps, the reason is about the issues of society.
It is one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. It is entirely focused on the subject of self-mutilation which could be more difficult to understand unless you have personality issues. The self-mutilation almost seemed to become a sexual act later on in the narrative, especially in the scene within the hotel. The movie is concentrated on the feeling of a woman being detached from her body, both figuratively and literally. Actually, we can say that there is a little sign of masochism due to the act of self-harm. This is not a horror movie but it has some horrific scenes that might make you uncomfortable.
I really do not want to say that the movie is either perfect or really bad since I’m not a professional, but I’m sure the movie is interesting. A lot of people might have different comments on it of course. I think it has a nice effect for audience; acting is great, overall it looks great, it sounds great. After I had watched the movie, it stayed in my head for a long time since the movie is really smart and well-done. It made me think over if people are actually allowed the get a chance to see what they want or desire in their life.

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